If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
