You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
