I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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