I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
