Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
