The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its not stalking. its research.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
