then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
