White coat. Heels.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
