I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
