I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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