I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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