When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
