R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
