I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
