You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
