remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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