I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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