why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to calm my uterus...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
