how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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