i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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