I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
