Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
