And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
