i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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