Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
