new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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