I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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