At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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