did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
