I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
