Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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