I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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