Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
