Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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