I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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