Dual....:-)
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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