woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
