If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
