u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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