Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
