that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
