so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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