sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
