She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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