how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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