I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
