So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
