I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
