took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my being single is dangerous.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
