it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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